ADHD Is Ruining My Life! | How Do You Break Through the Fog?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder - ADHD is ruining my life! – Have you ever heard this before and wondered how ADHD can ruin a person’s life?

Do you or someone you know currently experiencing ADHD and this have got you or that person in a serious state of despair because ADHD is interfering seriously with day-to-day activities and ruining your lives?

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it’s essential to seek treatment. If you think you or your child has ADHD but you haven’t been diagnosed, ask a doctor for their opinion, in case treatment is needed.

Untreated ADHD can cause problems throughout life. People with ADHD tend to be impulsive and have short attention spans, making it harder to succeed in school, work, relationships, and other aspects of life.

Do you wanna know how to cope with this or find a solution? If yes, don’t worry because we have got you covered and we will clarify your doubt and answer all the questions you might have concerning this topic – “ADHD is ruining my life”.

This article shows some reviews from past and present ADHD sufferers, how ADHD affected them, and how they coped with it to become hale, sane, and hearty again.

My article covers how ADHD can ruin your life, and what to do to recover from any damage ADHD caused.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood. It is usually first diagnosed in childhood and often lasts into adulthood. Children with ADHD may have trouble paying attention, and controlling impulsive behaviors (may act without thinking about what the result will be), or be overly active.

ADHD often begins in childhood and can persist into adulthood. It may contribute to low self-esteem, troubled relationships, and difficulty at school or work.

Symptoms include limited attention and hyperactivity. Treatments include medication and talk therapy. 

ADHD is Ruining My Life! – How Can this Disorder Ruin a Person’s Life?

People with ADHD often have trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors (may act without thinking about the result), or being overly active.

ADHD often begins in childhood and can persist into adulthood. It may contribute to low self-esteem, troubled relationships, and difficulty at school or work.

I will be dropping some experiences people had with ADHD which will show how this disorder can put you in a bad place and to further attest to this statement: ‘ADHD is ruining my life’.

• “What’s Wrong with Me?’ The Toll of 34 Years with Undiagnosed ADHD” by Aron Croft, M.S.

“College was terrible. I dropped out twice – once running away to a tiny Island in New Zealand, but that’s another story. I used alcohol, pot, and cigarettes at varying times to drown out my despair. The turmoil and failure of my undergraduate career further eroded my sense of self.”

If you told me seven years ago that I would be writing this article, I never would have believed you. That’s because I was broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage.

At 33 years old, I moved into a shared house with four acquaintances. I was upstairs, unpacking my post-divorce suitcase when a body flopped down on my king-sized bed and startled me. It was Billy, a 26-year-old tech support agent from Vietnam, and he seemed awfully comfortable.

And that’s when it hit me: He hadn’t flopped down on my king-sized bed, but rather his half of our king-sized bed. Because renting half a bed was all I could afford at that time.

How I Got There

Let me tell you a little about how I got to that low point — my story of enduring over 30 years with undiagnosed ADHD.

Elementary, middle school, and high school all started well enough. I was a naturally good test-taker and I had a social structure that supported me.

Still, I struggled throughout school with legendary levels of procrastination and last-minute saves. I never completed a book from cover to cover, earning me the nickname “Cliff’s Notes Aron.”

“What’s wrong with me?” The question played like a broken record in my head.

My mom was quick to supply the answer: “Aron’s just arrogant. He thinks he doesn’t have to do the work.”

This answer confused me, though, because I wanted to do the work. I hated the minor heart attack I experienced every time a deadline drew near. The adrenaline boost kicked me into action, but it left me drained physically and emotionally.

Despite all of this, I managed to graduate #1 in my high school class and — sound the trumpets! — get admitted to Harvard.

On My Own

Harvard was supposed to signify the beginning of my successful life. Instead, it kicked off 15 years of failure.

I dropped out twice – once running away to a tiny Island in New Zealand, but that’s another story. I used alcohol, pot, and cigarettes at varying times to drown out my despair, and I managed to graduate by the skin of my teeth.

This turmoil and failure of my undergraduate career further eroded my sense of self. But I had a Harvard degree going into the job market and things got better…

Nah, I’m just kidding.

I lasted six months at my first job out of college. I failed at my first seven jobs and businesses. I worked nights and weekends to catch up because my undiagnosed ADHD distracted me during the work day, but this began to affect my marriage.

“What’s wrong with me?” There’s that stinking question again!

My Introduction to Coaching Psychology

Then, in my early 30s, I did what anyone with a career in shambles considers doing: I went to graduate school.

There, I got a master’s degree in coaching psychology. I told my mom I wanted to be a life coach — which was true — but deep down, I wanted to help myself.

And in many ways, I did. I got help from peer coaches and started applying the science of motivation, habit formation, and change to my life.

I began to fantasize about how I would use my newfound skills to get out of my minimum-wage job… and finally fulfill my potential.

And then “the bombshell weekend” happened. My wife told me she was unhappy — and had been having an affair.

I Hit Rock Bottom

All of this brings us back to the room with Billy, where I was broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage.

It was there that my brain kicked into action, and shortly after sleeping in that king-sized bed, I managed to find a higher-paying job. Then, after 7 months, I switched companies for an even better job.

My life was finally starting to work! And then… history repeated itself.

The Failure That Changed Everything

Three months into my new role, my boss told me that my work the past few months was not up to par and that I would have to stay late to redo all of It. Terrified I would lose yet another job, I pressured a friend to lend me some Adderall to get through a week of late nights at the office.

When I took the Adderall — which was a first for me — I entered a parallel universe where I could direct my attention on command. I could do work that wasn’t fun just because I needed to do it.

OHHHH, this is what people meant when they said “Aron, just sit down and work on your assignment,” assuming my brain could do that at will.

It was as if a blind person suddenly got to experience sight and said “Oh, this is what people mean when they’ve been saying purple” …

I saw a psychiatrist immediately afterward. And got diagnosed. Overnight, I went from being an underachiever to an average and then an above-average performer.

Over the next seven years, I completely rebuilt my life. I got remarried, I got promoted four times, and I worked my way up to a senior manager position at an $8 billion Fortune 500 company… Doot, dooh, dooh! (That’s my trumpet impression.)

Diagnosis and Medication Helped But Didn’t Fix Everything

While getting diagnosed was life-changing, that summary glosses over the bumps and wrong turns on my real path.

In my first two years’ post-diagnosis, I thought that holding down a job was the peak of my potential. So I patted myself on the back for going to work every day, and then I smoked weed, ate SweetTarts, and played video games every night.

It took me two years to realize that the peak of my potential wasn’t just lasting more than 12 months in a job.

I realized that “pills don’t teach skills” and, if I wanted to do more with my life, I needed to do more than medicate away my symptoms for a few hours.

That’s when I fell down a different rabbit hole, studying how our ADHD brains process things differently than neuro-typicals.

Breaking Through the Fog

Once I understood this, I understood why popular productivity systems had always failed me. I mixed, matched, and modified leading approaches to develop a simplified system that only relied on focusing for 8% of the day. And that opened the floodgates of productivity for me.

Last year, I published more than 25 articles, read more than 75 books, filmed more than 50 YouTube videos, and grew my social media following to more than 100,000 people. All while working my full-time job. All of this groundwork enabled me to quit a few months ago and launch a successful coaching business.

In my journey, I discovered that there was something wrong with my systems. And my strategies were far from perfect. But the greatest discovery was that, in the end, there was nothing wrong with me.

•  From Milos Momcilovic:

 Absolutely. I couldn't and I still can't finish high school, being 30 years old. That left me with a very small number of jobs I can even attempt to do. Meds & I tried didn't do anything, and I struggle to convince a single person that I even have a problem.

Theoretical knowledge I have accumulated over the years is not practical or usable in any way. The only practical thing I was able to learn is website building, and that's when I realized that knowledge means nothing to me, I will fail when I have to perform anyway.

The fact that I have a high IQ is making things worse because I expect more from myself, and so do others around me. Because of this miserable situation, my mental state is getting worse, and I might even succumb to addictions to try to escape reality.

All of is this because some part of my brain is still wired the same way it was when I was 5 years old. I can’t ignore distractions at all, goals I set are forgotten as soon as I fall asleep. The only job I can do is the one that requires no brainpower whatsoever, everything else I will mess up and get fired.

There is a lot more to be said about this, but the gist is that I can’t operate independently in this world, at least not for long.

• Nicholas Stone says;

There have been difficulties and consequences. ADHD has compromised my potential. In education, I think I might have achieved better grades. I also might have had a better employment record. Consequently, I do not own my own home - few will want to lend me money based on my employment history. I’ve never been in a job long enough to be promoted or develop career progression.

Addiction has been a problem. ADHD tends to me make impulsive and addictive. For 28 years, I smoked cigarettes and plenty of oversized cigars too. There were bouts of heavy smoking. And there have been bouts of heavy drinking. I abused my ADHD medication, too. Temptation remains.

Combined with my autism, I can be prone to social mistakes, misunderstandings, and as well as being irritable. Taken together, there have been periodic difficulties with friends and family.

But ADHD and autism make me resilient, resourceful, determined, and curious. I’ve traveled to over 45 countries - often alone. A particular achievement was a 38-day trip around the world - over half the distance by ferry and train. I now provide voluntary support for others in similar circumstances.

•  Tobias Larsen Experience:

 There are two questions here, as I see it.

(1) How does it feel to have untreated ADHD as an adult?

(2) How does it feel when you receive treatment for ADHD as an adult?

Here are my answers, but bear in mind that ADHD is expressed very differently in different people.

Regarding (1):

Your mind is a mess. Your life is a mess. Your home is a mess. Your relationships are a mess. You constantly feel like you're a failure, that you're not living up to your potential.

You see people around you start, work on, and complete projects (work, personal, mental) and achieve things, and you keep trying to do the same yourself. You lay plans to try and control your life, but you only get a few days into each plan before something happens, you forget the plan. A few days or weeks later you remember the plan, but give up because it's obvious you can't follow through on it.

So you skip around between hobbies, jobs, relationships, but never really follow through, and make another mental mark against yourself for failing, again.

Sometimes you make a mammoth effort, you pump yourself up as hard as you can, and you work like a demon to get ahead of it all... only to collapse in complete exhaustion after a few days, or even hours and watch everything fall apart again.

Eventually, in self-defense, you try to stop caring, stop even making plans and just go with the flow. You say to others that your life is a mess because you want it that way. You focus on the few things that you seem to be able to focus on, often essentially non-productive things like reading fiction or playing games.

Regarding (2):

I discovered that I have ADHD at the age of 39, more or less by accident. I only found out because my son was diagnosed with Tourette's and then ADHD. I basically thought 'how can he have ADHD? There's nothing weird about his behaviour, he's just like me...... Oh wait....'.

I saw a doctor, then a psychiatrist. I did all the normal checks. They said they'd like to try giving me Ritalin (good ol' methylphenidate). I figured why not?

I took the first pill one evening when I had nothing to do, just sitting around waiting for my son to finish his hockey practice.

Nothing happened. I walked around, waiting to feel weird, for something. But I just felt kinda drowsy. Then I went outside to have a cigarette. And as I stood there looking out over some empty soccer fields, it suddenly struck me... Nothing was happening. Nothing was happening.

It was like I'd been listening to an annoying voice in the back of my head for all my life, constantly shouting semi-random instructions and reminders at me, so long that I couldn't even consciously hear it anymore. And it had suddenly just... shut up. I didn't have to think about anything, no ideas or memories or grievances were being pushed into my though-stream. I was just standing there, looking at empty fields, smoking a cigarette. Nothing was happening. It was a mind boggling experience.

Before treatment, if people asked me 'What are you thinking about', and I replied 'Nothing', what I actually meant was 'I'm thinking about a thousand things, but none of them are actually relevant so I'm just discarding them as fast as I can'. That was Nothing to me. The experience of being able, even forced, to actively choose what I wanted to think about was mind blowing.

I spent the next weeks cleaning up my home, my life, my projects and my plans. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Still is.

I still have ADHD. I still make skips and jumps in my thinking and actions. The major difference is that now I've seen that the world doesn't have to function like that. I can see myself making the mistakes, and understand why I made them. I can correct them.

ADHD Is Ruining My Life!  - The Phases of ADHD Side effects

During Childhood

Children with untreated ADHD may face problems at home and at school. Because ADHD can make it hard for children to pay attention in class, a student with untreated ADHD may not learn everything they’re taught. They may fall behind or get poor grades.¹https://www.quora.com/Do-you-feel-ADHD-has-ruined-your-life

Children with ADHD may struggle to control their emotions. This can cause social problems. They may not know how to share toys, take turns, play well with others, or react the right way in certain situations. Without treatment and guidance, they may have trouble making or keeping friends. This can be hard for them to deal with, because many children with untreated ADHD also have low self-esteem or depression.

Kids with untreated ADHD can be more impulsive, so they may get hurt a lot. Some research shows that young people with untreated ADHD make more visits to the emergency room with injuries. ​​​​​​​

As Teenagers

If ADHD hasn’t been addressed, teens who have already done poorly at school for years aren’t likely to catch up, so poor grades may keep coming. Even students with untreated ADHD who coasted through elementary school may have problems keeping up in high school, where the workload is more intense.²https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/risks-of-untreated-adhd

Teens with untreated ADHD may struggle with relationships. They may not have many friends, and they may not fare well in the dating world. They’re also likely to have problems getting along with their parents.

ADHD that’s left alone could raise the chance of dangerous behaviors, including:

• Drinking
• Smoking
• Doing drugs
• Risky sexual choices

Among girls with untreated ADHD, eating disorders are more common. Some of these problems may be linked to depression or low self-esteem.

Once they’re old enough to get their driver’s license, teens with untreated ADHD are more likely to have trouble behind the wheel. They may be involved in more car accidents than their peers.

As Adults

Although certain symptoms may fade with age, ADHD can be a lifelong problem. And some people aren’t diagnosed with ADHD until they’re adults. It’s important for all grownups with ADHD to have treatment for it.

If not, they’re more likely to have employment problems. Even if they can get a job, they may not be able to keep it. They’re also more likely to have trouble:

• Getting to work on time
• Completing work by set deadlines
• Staying organized
• Getting along with co-workers
• Accepting criticism calmly

If you have untreated ADHD, you’re more likely to have relationship problems. You may be too emotional. You may have arguments with others more often than your peers. And your partner or friends might have trouble getting you to listen.

People with untreated ADHD have higher rates of divorce. You’re also more likely to be depressed or have low self-esteem.

The same risky behaviors that can harm teens with untreated ADHD can also impact adults in the same situation. For example;

• Drinking
• Smoking
• Drug abuse
• Risky sex

They’re also more likely to have

• Car accidents
• Gambling problems
• Trouble with the law

Some research says between 25% and 40% of people in prison have ADHD -- many of whom are undiagnosed or untreated. The same research suggests that if those people had treatment for their ADHD, the action that led to their jail time may not have happened.

Whew! Holly-Molly! ADHD can really do you in. From the above write-ups, you can see how true the statement ‘ADHD is ruining my life’ is. Right from the section on People’s experiences to that of the ‘Phases of ADHD Side Effects’, you can definitely see what ADHD is capable of, and how it can ruin a person’s life.

Is There Any Treatment?

To recover from ADHD, please read through this article, because you will get info on how to cope and recover from the trauma caused by ADHD, especially from the experiences of those who experience or are currently experiencing ADHD which I have inserted into this post. So, you can go through their experiences and check what they did to cope and recover.

Ask 10 parents how they treat their children's ADHD, and you're likely to get 10 different answers. That's because treatment for ADHD is personalized. Kids and adults have different symptoms, and treatment depends on what a child needs.

Most experts recommend starting with therapy alone for ADHD in children younger than 6. If your doctor thinks your child’s treatment should include medication, they might prescribe:

• A single medicine
• A combination of different types of medicine (adjunctive therapy)
• Medicine plus behavioral therapy

Your doctor might try different treatments to find what works best for your child. It’s important to remember that ADHD medications may not work for all symptoms. Medication plus therapy is the recommended treatment for children older than 6.

Three types of medications are used to treat ADHD:

1. Stimulants
2. Non-stimulants
3. Antidepressants

1. Stimulants

Your child’s doctor will probably try a low-dose one of these first. Stimulants have been used for a long time and are well-tested. They’re often helpful for children and teens who have a hard time at school, work, or home. While these drugs are stimulants, they don’t make children more excitable. Instead, they can help kids focus their thoughts and ignore distractions.

Some are approved for use in children over age 3. Others are approved for children over age 6. Often, treatment starts with a drug such as:

• Amphetamine (Adderall, Adderall XR, Adzenys XR-ODT)
• Dexmethylphenidate (Focalin, Focalin XR)
• Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse)
• Methylphenidate (Concerta, Daytrana, Jornay, or Ritalin)
• Serdexmethylphenidate/dexmethylphenidate (Azstarys)

These medications come in different forms:

• Short-acting (immediate-release): These take effect quickly and can wear off quickly, too. Your child may need to take these several times a day. They usually work for about 4 hours.
• Intermediate-acting: These last a few hours longer than short-acting versions.
• Long-acting forms: Your child might need to take this kind only once a day. They work for 8-12 hours.

The form and dosage your child takes will depend on his symptoms and needs. If your child has certain medical conditions, they shouldn’t take stimulants. Make sure the doctor knows their complete medical and family history before they prescribe them anything.

2. Non-stimulants

These medications can improve concentration and impulse control. In cases where stimulants aren’t an option for your child, don’t work for them, or cause strong side effects, they may be prescribed non-stimulants alone. But they’re often used with stimulant medication -- studies show that they can help the treatment work better.

These non-stimulants are FDA-approved to treat ADHD in children. (All three can be used as adjunctive therapy, along with a stimulant):

• Atomoxetine (Strattera)
• Clonidine hydrochloride ER (Kapvay)
• Guanfacine (Intuniv) ER
• Viloxazine (Qelbree)

1. Atomoxetine (Strattera) was the first non-stimulant medication approved by the FDA. It’s for kids ages 6 and older. It works by increasing the amount of the chemical norepinephrine in the brain. This helps lessen ADHD symptoms such as hyperactivity and impulsive behavior.
2. Clonidine and guanfacine were originally made to treat high blood pressure. But they affect certain chemical receptors in the brain and can help improve:

• Memory
• Attention
• Impulse control
• Hyperactivity
• Agitation
• Aggression

They’re long-acting extended-release drugs and can last for 12 to 24 hours.

All three of these non-stimulant medications are often used in adjunctive therapy with a stimulant. Studies show that when taken with a stimulant, they can help the treatment work better.

3. Antidepressants

For children and teens who also have mood issues, doctors may prescribe antidepressant drugs along with a stimulant. These drugs aren't specifically approved for ADHD, but studies show they help control symptoms such as hyperactivity and aggression.³https://www.additudemag.com/undiagnosed-adhd-consequences-self-discovery/

Bupropion (Wellbutrin) can help improve mood in children and teens with ADHD and depression. It’s known to improve concentration, energy, and motivation.

Imipramine (Tofranil) and nortriptyline (Pamelor) are two others. These are called tricyclic antidepressants, and they affect the neurotransmitters in your brain. They’ve been around for a while but are used less often due to their side effects.

Venlafaxine (Effexor). In its extended-release form, this drug can be used for children with ADHD and mood or anxiety issues.

Children who already take an MAO inhibitor antidepressant shouldn’t take these medications.

Tips to Fight ADHD

• Sit in the front of the class to limit distractions.
• Turn off your phone when doing homework.
• Talk with your teacher about your ADHD.
• Use tools that help you stay organized.
• Get plenty of exercises.
• Take activity breaks.
• Learn to meditate.
• Pay attention to all the good things about you.

Watch the video below to know more about how to fix your life post-ADHD diagnosis:

Conclusion

Many children who have ADHD also have at least one other condition, such as depression or anxiety. Doctors can often treat these disorders at the same time, sometimes with the same medications.

Many medications that treat ADHD have side effects. Make sure you know what to expect and what to look for before your child starts a medicine.

Watch for unusual behavior changes while your child is on any medicine, and report them to your doctor. Also, let them know if a medicine isn't working or if it's causing side effects. Don't stop the medicine without talking to your child’s doctor.

You can check the FAQs section below to know more on the issue of 'ADHD is ruining my life', and if you have any comments, drop them in our comment section below.

Odudu Abasi

I Am odudu abasi a top-notch and experienced freelance writer, virtual assistant, graphics designer and a computer techie who is adept in content writing, copywriting, article writing, academic writing, journal writing, blog posts, seminar presentations, SEO contents, proofreading, plagiarism/AI checking, editing webpage contents/write-ups and WordPress management.

My work mantra is: “I can, and I will”

Additional resources and citations

• 1
  https://www.quora.com/Do-you-feel-ADHD-has-ruined-your-life
• 2
  https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/risks-of-untreated-adhd
• 3
  https://www.additudemag.com/undiagnosed-adhd-consequences-self-discovery/

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